Do You Have a Garden?

She sat on a bench placed just off of the pavement of the Flower Garden. She held an orange daisy in her hand, her eyes stared at the petals but her attention was lost in her thoughts. “What would she do with her own garden?” she wondered, borrowing the view of someone else’s for the day. 

She dreamed about the flowers she would plant, pulling weeds, collecting the blooms in a basket, and the arrangements she would assemble for her dinner table. 

She didn’t notice that God had walked up and placed himself beside her until he was already sitting down. He’d been there for several minutes, listening to her thoughts. 

“Perhaps you need not borrow someone else’s dream,” God said to her soul. He leaned back, one leg crossed over the other and his right arm rested on the back of the bench. He’s wearing gardener attire, a set of gloves resting next to him and a spade and small hand rake lay on the ground at his feet. 

She was startled by his presence and did not recognize him as God. She thought she heard him say something but was confused, no words were spoken, “I’m sorry, did you say something?” she asked him aloud. 

“I was just resting,” God replied. 

“Is this your garden?” she asked. She studied this man curiously, he scared her since his arrival was unnoticed but her soul was drawing her closer to him. His energy felt divine but her mind was telling her to be afraid   

“Indeed,” God replied. 

“It is lovely." 

“Thank you. Do you have a garden?” 

“Only in my mind,” she answered forlornly. 

“I bet it is beautiful.” 

She looked at the man and studied him wondering why he was here. “Thank you. I should be going,” she said, gathering her things. 

“If you’d like help with your garden, feel free to come and visit. I will be here for many days." 

“Thank you. Nice to meet you. What is your name?” she asked. 

“God,” he said to her heart. 

She stood in his presence for several moments though it felt like time stood still. The overwhelming feeling of love from his spoken words overwhelmed her emotions causing tears to spill out of her. 

“G-G-God?” her voice trembled. Her soul knew, her heart knew, her body was clearly responding but her mind resisted with every ounce of fear and resistance she had to battle this unwelcomed exchange. 

“Indeed, my love. You need not fear." God’s energy extended out from him and surrounded her in a gentle embrace, calming her, offering her peace, love, and comfort. His love wrapped her in a soft hug, helping her surrender and open her heart. 

She sat on the ground like a child waiting for a teacher to share a story, her legs crossed and her eyes up, focused and waiting. 

“My love, please, sit here, on the bench,” God said, gesturing to her place next to him. “I am not here to tell you what to do. I am here to help you with your garden.” 

She continued to resist all of the feelings that were rising in her body as she forced herself to climb back up to sit on the bench. She felt unworthy to be in God’s presence, unworthy to be seated at the right hand of God, that was reserved for royalty, for divine beings. She resisted the love she was feeling. Love felt dangerous because love has always caused her pain. Love was tough. Love was frustrating. Love was a fight. Love was to be defended. 

“You are worthy of love because you are born worthy. You are worthy of love because you are love.” God looked into her eyes but his words penetrated her soul. 

The hidden pain of love began to surface, old wounds, hidden traumas, tucked away fears, they all began to rise to the surface. The remembering was painful but as quickly as they came up, God wiped them away. 

“Every spring, I like to tend to my garden. There are many things that have been lying dormant under the cold of the winter’s frost, many hidden in the darkness of snow cover." 

She appreciated God’s metaphors, the last thing she wanted to do was talk about her traumas. She had been forced into therapy as a child, revisited it as an adult because it was a way she was led to deal with her pain, but therapy couldn’t reveal the feelings she wrestled with because she locked them inside and threw away the key. Therapy only helped the issues she was willing to talk about, there were many issues she was unwilling to talk about. 

“My garden,” she started to say but struggled for the words to form on her lips, “my garden has been hidden for a long time. It desires light,” she whispered and her thoughts were again lost inside her. Several moments later she confessed, “I don’t know how to revitalize it. My tools are broken, I have no seeds, the knowledge I once had no longer is sufficient to thrive. The magic that was me seems to have disappeared. The teachers that have guided me this far no longer spark passion within me." 

God sat quietly listening, allowing his presence to be enough, allowing whatever she is ready to surface to surface. 

“My love, healing, a garden, isn’t always about continuing to dig into deeper soil. Sometimes, healing is about choosing a new path, a new garden, new plants, a different life. You have the freedom to choose, you have the freedom to choose how you heal, how you live, how you move forward. Every day, you choose the weather in your soul. Is it raining? Is there a storm? Is it rainbows? Do you enjoy sunshine? You are the weatherman. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You can choose. You are worthy of divine love, unconditional love. You are not defined by the things you have been through. You also choose your story. You can write a new story, live a new story, embody your story." God paused for several moments allowing his words to percolate like water into soil. “Let me ask you this, how many outside influences have been telling you how to be? Yes, it is part of your fabric, do you choose to let it be part of your future?”